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Letters to the Editor: Toward a kinder CIA

The subject of what is torture has received a lot of attention lately. According to the Geneva Convention, torture means any act by which severe pain and suffering, physical or mental, is inflicted upon a person.

The subject of what is torture has received a lot of attention lately. According to the Geneva Convention, torture means any act by which severe pain and suffering, physical or mental, is inflicted upon a person.

Many in our government are busy making lists of what torture is, and what cannot be done. Nobody seems to be working on a list of what can be done. In an effort to be helpful I've come up with my suggestions for things that can be done.

1. Feed them only gluten free bread. (I figure the captives will crack before the first loaf is gone.)

2. If that doesn't work, change to a diet of lutefisk. (If they don't spill their guts the first day then eliminate the butter and sauce.)

3. Threaten to take away their My Pillow. (The thought of all those sleepless nights without their pillow should get them talking.)

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4. Subject them to Harry Reid reading the New York phone book from cover to cover. (I predict that by the time he gets to the C's they'll be begging to talk.)

5. Schedule eight-hour sessions with Nancy Pelosi trying to explain the Theory of Relativity. (I get a headache just trying to follow her logic behind "We must pass the bill to find out what's in it.")

6. Have Obama promise them a full pardon if they'll cooperate. (They'll never suspect that the president of the United States would lie.)

Well, I'd better get the letter in the mail to the CIA. I wish I could see the look of gratitude on their faces when they read it. It just gives me goose bumps to think about it.

Joe Lanz,

Nisswa

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