Danecdotes: Skipping spring is what we need

Last year around this time, I wrote an editorial claiming that spring is an overrated season, and I stand by that sentiment. Sure, the snow melts and the temperatures rise, but we have to deal with mud, weather peaks and valleys, allergies and taxes.

Absolutely none of that is particularly enjoyable.

This year, I'm happy to report that Mother Nature has taken my words to heart, because instead of dealing with mud and allergies, we are simply going to skip spring this year - just like that. No questions asked. We are just going to continue getting snow until it is 75 degrees one day around Memorial Day.

I think we will all find that to be a better scenario.

Really, it is much simpler this way. Instead of two or more months of playing hot-or-cold every time we step outside, we can just embrace that fact that winter is here until summer time - none of the hassle of going coatless today because it's almost an acceptable temperature, before bundling up tomorrow to avoid hypothermia.

Just wear your parka until it's time for flip-flops. It is as simple as that.

Mud is almost a thing of the past if we are skipping spring. Instead of that horrible substance overtaking my yard and driveway, I have ice. Ice is way better - it is a piece of solid matter that can't possibly "get everywhere." I mean, it can't move. It's frozen. That sounds better to me.

Is anyone a fan of spring cleaning? Of course not. I feel silly asking that question. Cleaning is an incredibly overrated chore and skipping spring can hopefully help you and I gloss over this silly tradition without feeling too guilty.

What's the point of spring cleaning if there is no spring? Problem solved.

Of course, I love baseball, golf and all of the spring sports, but they are usually still being played in the summer, so why even bother with games in April? I will say this: You have not experienced pain until you hit a baseball off the handle of a metal bat when it is a brisk 40 degrees outside. Who would want their children to experience such pain?

I hope it is clear to everyone that I'm joking. I have been over winter since the end of January, and I can't tell you what I wouldn't give to see one single 50-degree, semi-rainy day where I can comfortably step outside and just maybe go for a run without freezing my tail off.

I am absolutely dying to clean my garage out and clean up my yard, and I cannot wait to cover a few baseball games and track meets for our area schools.

I don't want to jinx it, but it appears as though we may actually get some spring weather this week. Hopefully that means the snow will melt in the coming days, school sports can begin in earnest and golf courses and resorts can open their gates.

So while skipping this inconsistent, muddy, allergy-riddled season would maybe be ideal, I will begrudgingly admit that I am happy to see it decided to finally show up this year.