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The Cracker Barrel: Playing with words

As we all know, life's not easy. Sometimes winter lasts much too long and treats us much too harshly.

Given that fact, it may be childish to turn away from hurtful memories and choose, instead, to immerse your cranium in siliceous granules (put your head in the sand), but what the heck. Some of life oughtta be fun.

I recently rediscovered a list of common phrases all dressed up in verbal finery and found the task of trying to decipher them a pleasant diversion. Like the long-awaited arrival of spring, spending time in the pursuit of trivia may help us heal emotional wounds.

Here's the list, with a sample answer offered for number one.

• Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity. (Beauty is only skin deep.)

• Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.

• Surveillance should precede saltation.

• It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately destroyed lacteal fluid.

• Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to divinity.

• The stylus is greater than the claymore.

• It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative prestidigitations.

• Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.

• The ogled utensil refrains from attaining an adequate Celsius level.

• Neophyte's serendipity.

• Male cadavers relate no narrative.

• Inhabitants of vitreous edifices should not catapult petrous projectiles.

• All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly precious metallic elements.

• If there are visible vapors originating in ignited carbonaceous materials, then there must be conflagration.

• Mendicants experience prohibitions when evaluating alternatives.

• A plethora of culinary artisans vitiates the potable concoction produced by steeping comestibles.

• Exclusive dedication to pecuniary pursuits without hedonistic diversion renders John a hebetudinous stripling.

• A mobile object of igneous origin accumulates no diminutive glaucous bryophytes.

• Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure but appellations are eternally benign.

• One may route the equine being to libation but find it impossible to overcome the negative inclination to imbibe.