They are so obviously generated by some foreign scammer: it's hilarious.

I have some tips for them to improve their likelihood of actually scamming someone:

1) Don't use "kindly" anywhere in your e-mail. For example: "Kindly respond." No American is that polite. We don't say "kindly," we say "please."

2) Don't sign off your e-mail with "Regards." That's what Tom Cruise would call glib. Americans use: "Thanks," or better yet, just sign their name.

3) Don't use two consecutive words in a sentence that mean the same thing. For example: "the full, total cost." Hmmm. Full and total: sounds redundant, doesn't it?

4) Don't refer to an "advert." We say "advertisement" here in America, buddy. I think "advert" is a British thing. We also don't wait in "queue" here; we wait in lines. Like in Wal-Mart.

5) Check your prepositions. For example: "I would like to place a pet ad on print." On? Don't you mean "in"?

6) Likewise, check the order of words in a sentence. For example: "I would like to place a pet for ad." How about: "I would like to place an ad for a pet."

I think there may be a job for me somewhere, editing e-mail requests for foreign scammers.

Of course, then they might actually be able to scam someone; and that wouldn't be right.

However, this particular scammer, "Carrington," did give me a column idea; so thanks to him (or her).

Or, better yet, "Regards, Carrington. Kindly please don't send me any more advert e-mails for your teacup Yorkie terrier puppies." I'm a pug fan.