Here is a list of five common psychological barriers to estate planning.

1. Some farmers refuse to deal with their own mortality. They don't get sick. When they do, they don't go to the doctor. They think they are immortal and indispensable. It is as if they refuse to make plans to prevent the inevitable.

No decision is a decision. Instead of doing the hard work of thinking through a will and an estate plan, a farmer is saying, in effect, that a state or provincial government can do a better job of dispersing the estate according to a predetermined rigid formula. The government gets to keep a part of the estate that would otherwise would have gone to the heirs.

In families where there has been remarriage and stepchildren, the lack of a will can have devastating consequences and repercussions.

Dying and leaving an estate without a will can be a horror story for the next generation. In a time of mourning and grief, family members will likely experience anger and frustration by the legal problems and fairness issues created by the lack of a will.

It is important to list all assets and have relevant documents identifying those assets in a secure location. Parents need to provide for a power of attorney for financial and health concerns in case of disability or life-sustaining issues.

2. Not planning to retire. People who are not good at retirement planning aren't good at estate planning. Better and earlier transitions can be made if and when people are moving toward personal goals and a future they are excited about.

Farmers who plan for retirement or semi-retirement will make decisions about succession, delegation and have a plan for the continuity of the business. Others just hang on and on and on. Passing on assets and ownership is best done in an orderly fashion over a long period of time.

Confusion or delay in succession planning will inhibit the management roles of the future generation as well as impede the implementation of an estate plan that takes succession into consideration.

3. Staying in control. This is a throwback to a different era when the father was lord and master of his patriarchal domain. Not just then but now, there are perfectionist, workaholic fathers who see the farm as a form of their own personal aggrandizement and which satisfies a need to be in control.

Patriarchs use the land as a whip to control the behavior of their farming children. By being deliberately vague and indecisive about estate plans, they keep the next generation beholden to them and too fearful to challenge their authority or thinking.

4. Deciding what is fair is a tough call. It takes a huge amount of assets to farm and the yearly return on investment is skimpy compared to other enterprises. The farm is a business, not a legacy.

By leaving a business to several heirs shared equally, the ability of the farming heirs to stay in business is threatened. Gone are the days of the benevolent siblings who sit by passively and let their sibling farm.

The on-farm heirs want cash flow and long term investment. Siblings may be put in the position of questioning their business decisions, the value of their labor and standard of living.

The off-farm heirs want liquidity and short term returns on investment. The farming and non-farming heirs are in a conflict-of-interest situation. Ideally, there would be enough non-farm assets to make the estate as equitable as possible without creating a burden of debt on existing farm assets.

Fair may not be equal. The farm is not just an asset to be given away. Farming is about sharing a career with a son or daughter and his or her family. They have been willing to take the same risks and put in the same sweat equity as the parents. In giving a farm equally to non-farm heirs, the gift has been earned, at least partially, by someone else.

Commitments need to be honored. It is a tragedy when the farming children are left in the lurch by an "equitable" distribution of assets. Estate plans that do not show fairness to off-farm heirs can be painful as well. An unfair will can be interpreted as rejection or lack of love. It hurts. And in some cases, it feels like betrayal.

5. Harmony now and disharmony later. In a family that thrives on harmony, people may think that talking about estate planning is like upsetting the apple cart. Ongoing conversations about the estate plans will aid in identifying potential problems and taking steps to prevent them after the parents are gone. Parents should invite ideas, feelings and special requests.

Secrecy around estate planning will foster suspicions and resentments among the children after a parent is gone. It will also cause frustration for the on-farm partners whose futures depend on how the estate is distributed.

Sometimes being too open may invite family conflict, strong reactions and pressure. In such cases, an attorney may advise against disclosing too much information. However, this is an infrequent problem compared to heartaches created by denial, inadequate planning and lack of communication.

For more information on rural estate planning, visit Val Farmer's website at www.valfarmer.com. Val Farmer's book, "Honey, I Shrunk the Farm," can be purchased by sending a check or money order for $7.50 to: The Preston Connection, Honey, I Shrunk the Farm Book, PO Box 1135, Orem UT 84059.

For Val Farmer's, "To Have and To Hold," makes a perfect gift for June brides and engaged couples. You can purchase it for the bridal season price of $10.00. Send a check or money order for $10.00 plus $3.95 for shipping and handling for the first book and $2.00 for each additional book to JV Publishing, LLC, P.O. Box 886, Casselton, ND 58012.

Val Farmer is a clinical psychologist specializing in family business consultation and mediation with farm families. He lives in Wildwood, Missouri and can be contacted through his website.