My wife accuses me of having too many hats.ÊJust because the tines on my row of buck deer antlers in the basement are covered by hats and the boxes on the shelves of our entryway closet are full of hats and the back seat of my pickup truck is full of hats, she thinks I have too many hats.ÊI beg to differ.

A man can never have too many hats.ÊEach of them is precious in my sight.ÊI have hats that I use when I'm tilling the garden.ÊThey are full of sweat and dirt and weed spray with an occasional squashed deer fly stuck in the mesh.ÊI use these garden hats when I know I'm about to do battle with the elements and I'm not afraid of getting them dirty.

I have my assortment of hats I use when I go fishing.ÊMy fishing hats usually have longer bills than my other hats.ÊThat's to protect my tender snout from being sunburned.ÊMy fishing hats have lots of water stains located at various locations. You might also find a fish hook or two tangled in those hats and there are usually some blood stains ingrained in the fabric that have either come from me or some unfortunate walleye.

A hat is also a fashion statement for a man. ÊMen don't usually pay much attention to fashion, but with their hats it's a different story.

ÊSome men wear their hat cocked to one side of their head.ÊSome men pull their hat down over their ears.ÊSome men bend the bill of the hat into a sharp U shape and some flatten the bill.ÊIt's all a matter of personal taste.

You can almost read a man's personality by the way he wears his hat.

Usually if he has his hat tilted backward, showing his forehead, he's in a thinking mode. ÊIf he has the hat pulled down over his eyebrows, he's serious about something.ÊIf he has his hat sitting flat atop his head, he's usually sipping coffee and telling lies and is in a docile state.ÊIf he pulls his hat off his head and stands there beside the mailbox with it dangling from his hand, he's probably just received his tax bill and is stunned and wondering how he's going to pay it.

It makes no difference what you pay for a hat.ÊBaseball caps you buy at the stadium usually go for about 10 times what a cap purchased from an ordinary store would be. Hats you purchase on a vacation are usually more expensive than the one the guy at the feed store gives you, but hey, you're on vacation, spend that money! I've found that the more you pay for a hat, the more likely it becomes that you will lose it somewhere.

I told my wife to just let a sleeping dog lie and leave my collection of hats alone.ÊI know she has her eye on my box of hats on that shelf in the closet where she wants to store something less important like towels or cleaning supplies. My hats are more important than that.

I've got my hat pulled down to my eyebrows and I'm serious about this.

See you next time. Okay?